Happy Valentine’s Day! How to say, “I love you.” Even when you don’t feel like it.

I love youUPDATE: This was posted 1 year ago and is still relevant.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

How many of you have stood in front of the greeting card section at your local grocery store, just days away from Valentine’s Day, snorting or hrmphing at the prose expressed on romantic cards?  I have.  In fact, one time I snorted and mumbled “Yeah, right!” loud enough so that the woman next to me broke up in raucous laughter.  I apologized and walked away lamenting (quietly) about the state of my marriage mind.

There are times in any relationship when the shine has worn off, the dents and dings show, or worse, rust and corrosion has undermined the very foundation of who you two used to be.  Here is a short list to still honor the man you married, regardless of the state of your relationship:

  1.  Do something completely different, together.  If you’ve never golfed, go to the driving range.  If you haven’t been to a library, lately, sit quietly flipping through magazines and watch who uses it and talk about the future of libraries.  Try cooking a brand new dish, together.  Walk quietly through a cemetery, in the daylight. Go to a jazz festival, because you’ve never been to one.
  2. Watch and listen to him and find out what he’s been reading, listening to, watching and suggest he read a chapter to you, listen to a track or two with him, or watch an episode.  Just sit and be there.
  3. Get out of your city/town for the afternoon (evening puts too much romantic pressure on a stifled relationship).  Schedule a babysitter, if needed.
  4. Tell him to describe 1 hour, 1 meeting/job/project, 1 drive/bus ride/walk to work.  You’ll be surprised what you learn.

Did you make some suggestions and he poo-pooed them? Did he insinuate you’re nuts?  Then go and enjoy yourself, and come back and tell him how much fun you had.  Feel good that you tried.  Or did you two reconnect in even the smallest way?  Like a smile or you held hands or it was just simply quiet between the two of you?

What are your ideas? What worked?  What didn’t? Please add them in the comments section.  Remember the rules:, no bashing, swearing or griping.  Only helpful solutions and tips, please! Hurting people may be reading this.

Don’t forget, you are loved and lovable!

 

Is your business your lover?

Is Your Business your lover?Valentine’s Day was yesterday.  Remember the first few months of being in love?  All you could do is think of HIM. Talk about HIM.  Dream about HIM. Give HIM your best.  Be your best for HIM.  Think about out-of-the-box creative plans for HIM.  Spend a lot of time with HIM even to the point of forgetting you had a life outside of HIM. And boy, did HE respond.   It was thrilling, exhilarating, even seductive.  You’re smiling, aren’t you?

Now, let’s replace HIM with YB, aka Your Business. All you could do is think of YB.   Talk about YB.  Dream about YB.  Give YB your best.  Be your best for YB.  Think about out-of-the-box creative plans for YB.  Spend a lot of time with YB even to the point of forgetting you had a life outside of YB.  And boy, did YB respond.   It was thrilling, exhilarating, even seductive. Are you smiling? Or squirming?  Listen to that.

If you’re like me, you love to go to work, you love to work in your work and you love to work on your work.   It’s the place where the amount of effort you put in is often rewarded by a factor of X.   For me, work is my happy place. I invest in my employees, my customers, my systems, and my product/services.  And by invest, I don’t mean just money.  I mean I invest all my resources, including my most valuable of resources, my time and energy.  But the real seduction?  I can create the environment and a culture. Talk about an ego boost!  I’ve been described as a workaholic. The term has even been hurled at me, repeatedly.   It’s something I wear as a badge.  A big badge. And I’m proud of it.

But, that’s the problem.   When pride enters the picture, love leaves.  The devotion I have to my business may be a source of provision, a creative outlet, and in my case, a safe and happy place (read: an escape from the hurt at home). But, denying those that love me, and sacrificing my most important relationships can have devastating consequences.  Give to your business.  But, save the best for those that love you and those you love.